A Leap of Faith

“Faith you have to understand, we cannot keep doing this, I cannot keep cleaning up after you.” he says to me as he lights his cigar, “You have to understand that this destructive behavior can ruin your career. Hollywood reporters may love you right now, because you’re feeding their families with paparazzi shot after paparazzi shot.” He puts down his lighter on the balcony table, takes a drag and leans back in his chair. 
   I just shrug my shoulders and stare back at him, I feel the tears fall from my eyes, as the cherry end of his cigar glows and then fades. He clears his throat and taps the ash off his cigar, he leans forward once more and blows the smoke out to his side, “Just try to stay out of trouble, your publicist is already having a field day as it is.” He gets up, leaves his cigar on the ash tray, grabs his suitcase and walks back into the room. I clear my throat at stare at his cigar and the smoke emitting from it, and look into the room following him.

“George,” I finally speak my voice sounds foreign in my ears, I clear my throat and wipe my eyes with the back of my hand, he looks back at me the edge in his eyes gone, “You know I didn’t mean anything bad to come from my actions, you know that.” I look down at his shoes, they’re brown like his cigar. 

He steps closer to me and brings his free hand up to my cheek caressing it, “I know you didn’t, but you need help and we’ll get you that. It doesn’t have to be this way for you, but we’ll figure something out. I promise. Just lay down and I’ll go make some calls to clean this up.” A smile appears on his face, “Rest and prepare for the interviews that are coming up, and what ever you do don’t turn on the television.” He finishes with a wink and walks out.

I walk to the drawer nearest to the balcony window and pull it out, there’s my makeup bag. A bag of pills falls out, “You’re the only friends I have now.” I pick up the baggy and walk into the bathroom, filling the cup near the faucet. I walk back out into the room and lock the door, then head out to the balcony. I set the cup down on the table along with the bag of pills and sit in my chair across from Georges still lighted cigar, I pick it up and bring it to my lips and take a drag. I can feel the smoke settle within me, as I lift it to eye level I let the smoke out slowly from my nose, then the rest out my mouth as I set it down I pick up the baggy and pick out two pills, “ One for me, and one for George darling.” I toss them back and pick up the cup of water and flush them down, I through the cup over the balcony. Lean back in my chair and look up at the bright sky, “I wish I were a bird. They’re not confined by anything, and they can fly any where, I wish I could fly.” 

“Oh but you can fly,” I hear a voice say, “You just have to spread your wings, take that leap of faith and you’re off.” 

I stand up, pick up the cigar and take another drag and walk over to the banister and I lean over it looking down at the cars pass by, “Leap of faith.” I say as I release the smoke and flick the cigar off the balcony, my eyes drift back up to the sky, “Leap of faith.” 

I kick off my heals, and climb up on the balcony. I can feel the wind caress my calves and blow under my arms and through my hair. I spread my arms, and close my eyes, “a leap of faith.”

I hear the door click, “Faith?” 

It’s George, silly George. “He doesn’t care about you, you’re a bird. A leap of faith.” says the voice.

“Faith?” his voice sounds worried.

I turn back and see him standing looking at me, “Faith, come down from there. We can talk it out.” I smile at him. 

“It’s okay.” I respond and look back out the balcony. “A leap of faith.”

I spread my arms, and take it. 

“A leap of faith.”